Filler post: QnA session :)

Well it looks like it could be a while before I actually have time to explore anything truly meaningful in this blog, but I thought a short Q and A filler post might be useful. It'll make me feel like a rock star and could help you decide whether or not piercings/tattoos are for you too, so here goes:


Why do you get piercings?

Because I'm too ugly to look normal.

Nah, that's pretty harsh, plus there are plenty of pretty people out there who have a faceful of piercings, and plenty of ugly people who dont.

The way I see it is I love piercings as a personal thing, because I feel good about myself when I get one; I feel like I can take the pain and see it through the healing process, like a scar. I usually treat myself to piercings after I've accomplished something great.

And secondly, because I don't think much of my face/body I feel like I have nothing to lose really. But piercings aren't for everyone. If you don't want a big hole in your lip when you're forty, then you shouldn't get a labret. And so on and so forth...


Do piercings hurt?

The more fleshy the area is, the less it hurts. For example, my lobes, lip and eyebrow didn't hurt at all. They were sore whilst they were healing, but it was totally bearable.

However, piercing cartilage or an erect nipple fucking hurts. For me they used this freezing liquid to numb the area a little. Most piercers will use this nowadays.

But then pain is different for everyone. I have a very high pain threshold and no fear of needles. If you're scared of getting pierced, then take a friend with you. Or otherwise don't get one because they can be awkward when they're healing.


How can you like tattoos if you haven't got any?

Well, hold on a second: I'm only twenty one.

Money has always been an issue. For a good piece of artwork you're going to spend a lot. Sometimes it's the same for a crap piece of art.

But for me it's mostly finding the right tattoo and the right artist. My tattoos have to mean something. Some people like meaningful tattoos, some people just get any old thing. If you get any old thing there's more chance that you'll hate it in twenty years.

I see my body as a canvas waiting to be turned into a work of art. And I hate art without purpose or a story. I don't want to wind up looking like some back-alley wall that a bunch of kids grafittied when they were bored. Everything I do in life has a purpose and I live by the rule that everything happens for a reason, so it seems only right that my body should be decorated accordingly.

I'm looking into turning each of my limbs into an element (earth, water, fire, air) while my torso represents the spirit, because I love nature, harmony and balance.


What do you think of people without tattoos/piercings?

Honestly, I think it's boring. Even one gorgeous tattoo is a great conversation starter for someone like me who has trouble talking to people. But then I guess if everyone was the same then the world would be incredibly dull.

I just wish people weren't so hateful towards tattooed people, especially when it comes to job opportunities. But I really think the western world is starting to handle tattoos with a more relaxed attitude now, especially regarding tattooed women.

As for piercings, I think they only suit certain people. It takes a certain kind of attitude to pierce your face or sensitive areas. You've gotta be gutsy and hard-faced. I hate seeing these little emo girls with doll-faces and then huge bits of metal in their lips. You can tell they're gonna get fed up with the whole emo-farce and take them out in a few years.


What if you regret getting tattoos/piercings when you're older?

The way I see it, by the time I'm old enough to possibly regret getting pierced or tattooed, one of three things will have happened:

1. Most people from my generation, my friends or whatever, will be in the same boat as me, because tattoos and piercings are more acceptable now.

2. They'll have developed better ways to laser-off bad tats. And piercing scars/holes dont bother me anyway.

3. Assuming I tattooed my entire body, why would I be out showing it off when I'm ninety? I'll be covered in cardigans and wooly jumpers for God's sake.


What's the worst tattoo you've ever seen?

When I worked in the Odeon this guy came in to see a film. He must have been about forty-fifty, and had a really crap Christmas "Taz" tattoo on his forearm. It looked like some kid had stencilled it on with a bloody biro. There was no interesting compostition or shading, it was just dumped on his forearm like a club stamp.

Dude, if you're reading this, get rid of it.


What's the best tattoo you've ever seen?

That's asking something.

There are so many fabtastic artists out there churning out awesome artwork. I really love photo-realistic stuff and large oriental tattoos of dragons and tigers.

There are plenty of great tats out there but I think the coolest one I've ever seen was this guy who has his entire arm tattooed to look like some steampunk-cyborg-clockwork arm. Kinda like Ed Elric's automail arm from Fullmetal Alchemist. It's pretty damn awesome. And I love sleeves.



Photo from Free Style of Tattoos.

So there you go, hope you found that interesting.

Until next time!

Wrexham in Bloom – Week… Seven?

I think it’s safe to say I buggered this project from the beginning. Ok, so there was reading week, which doesn’t count, and two weeks of “mitigating circumstances”, but to be honest the main reason I fell behind on this one was my BBC project, which is now complete. So ahead with the focus, shall we!

Next week sees the return of Claire from the council, coming to see how we’ve gotten on with our Wrexham in Bloom/Bee Battery ideas. I know for a fact I’m not the only one struggling, but I don’t want to be one of those people.

Ideas-wise, I’ve had a few mundane ones pop into my head; poster designs, crappy little comics for kids. I’ve completely dropped the character re-design idea, because too many people are doing it, and I don’t think the council are that bothered about re-designing all their leaflets.

So I’ve come to a couple of conclusions for myself:

1. Do an illustration/poster: I have the experience, and the time to do something straightforward and simple, and I loved graphics and typography in collage.

2. Try out different media: I am really into trying out all kinds of media at the moment, from Photoshop to printmaking, to acrylic paints and 3D models (then again, thinking about it, if I could design a character I could produce it as a 3D armature…)

So far I have only come up with two very unimaginative ideas. The first one is inspired by ’60’s-era poster design. I love the hippie generation, all about free love, music and flower power. To me it speaks of celebrations, festivals, colours… and let’s face it, hippies are all about the environment.




So my friend Mark suggested a couple of catchy slogans I could use:

“It’s a bloomin’ good idea to recycle batteries!” – I love that one, very cute.

“Don’t plant a battery, plant a flower!” – This one was in reference to showing a landfill with a bright flower growing from the rubbish.

I could quite easily come up with some funky-fresh poster ideas for that. I’ve also recently been influenced by the Gorillaz “Plastic Beach” album, which refers to an island made up from the debris of mankind’s wasteful nature. Maybe there’s something there?


The second idea I had was in conjunction with the Natur Cymru competition. As an enthusiastic nature-lover and health freak I go walking almost every weekend with my partner. We’ve discovered Loggerheads, Betws-y-coed, Ty Mawr and our very own Alyn Waters where we live. I found out about the competition from a leaflet. For a £500 prize and a printed article in the magazine I have to write a thousand-words about a wildlife venture or environmental issue. I was thinking of tying this in with the Wrexham in Bloom campaign. The only problem is there is no guarantee I would win.

However, the competition states that I can include illustrations, so I had the idea to include some imaginative watercolour paintings of the different areas where Wrexham in Bloom takes place to accompany my entry. If I won the competition, then my article would be a great way to advertise Wrexham in Bloom. If not, I could use the illustrations as posters for the project.

After speaking to Adam I feel somewhat calmer, as he has insisted we don’t panic, there are many in my situation, and the final deadline is in fact NOT next Tuesday, as I thought. But it would be awesome if I could get an A3 concept done, because I hate falling behind (don’t want a repeat of last year’s fiasco!)

Photoshoot with Tess Beatty

I'm a funny looking thing, I think. At least I was in high school, one of the reasons I wasn't very popular. It sounds shallow but I'm always trying to make myself look better, whether it's by buying the latest Max Factor foundation, wearing a corset that takes my waist down to 22 inches, or dieting like a maniac in time for summer.

So I jumped at the chance to model for a photographer whose pictures seemed flawless and dreamy. I came across Tess's Photography on Facebook, as you do, and I was impressed by what I saw. She works in colour, but converts to black and white and mixes in small elements of colour for some striking portrait photos. I love the smokey edging effect she uses, and the way she is able to express so much about her models through the poses, outfits and environments they are in. So I got in touch with her about working with me on a mini-project for my parent's wedding anniversary (shh! It's a secret!)

When she advertised for models to help with her university work I was only too happy to help her out, secretly hoping for a confidence boost too.

Well, for obvious copyright reasons I can't reproduce the photos, but you can see the results for yourself here.

For the shoot I was told to just be myself and bring a few items of clothing I would feel comfortable it. Of course, I had to wear my Iron Fist hoodie and mermaid vest because they just scream "I'm a struggling, dopey art student dammit!"

But I also decided I wanted to try out a more elegant, sexy look, so I took along a silver top I'd just bought from USC. It's very tight-fitting and pirate-esque, but with a pair of heels it made me look sophisticated as well as saucy.

We did the shoot at St. Giles' Church in Wrexham at my suggestion.


I love that place. Beautiful, gothic and most of all, peaceful. It was my sanctuary during college (I know, sounds emo doesn't it?)

When I saw the photos I was so pleased, found them very flattering and felt my self-esteem jump up a few notches. She's made me look, dare I say, very pretty. Whether that's a filter on the camera, airbrushing or just the way we worked together, it doesn't matter to me. I bought £42-worth and will be working with her again.

Seriously, check out her stuff. Very friendly, funny and open to suggestions. She brought along her partner, Matt, to help, also a photographer and fellow Glyndwr student. Both of them were just so nice and they made me feel very calm and good about myself during the shoot.

So thanks guys!

Music review: Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

Time for a new post me thinks. A breath of fresh air, as the smog hanging over this blog is in need of a good clearing.

How fortunate, then, that Gorillaz released their new album, Plastic Beach, last week.

I came across Gorillaz in 2005 when AOL advertised their new single Feel Good Inc. I'd be lying if I said it was not the artwork that got me hooked at that moment. This was the first picture I saw of them:


I was instantly hooked. Then I watched the video for Feel Good Inc. and fell in love with the smooth animation and Damon Albarn's luscious voice. I was suddenly reminded that I had seen/heard them before, back in 2000. Clint Eastwood was cool back then, but I was only 10 and had no interest in music. Now I re-watched everything they had ever done, and listened to their debut album with squeaky clean ears.

Anyway, the point is, I absolutely fell for this band. Their music is like nothing I've heard, and is echoed similarly by Jamie Hewlett's graphite-encrusted artwork. I'd never seen anything like it. I was a young, rebellious art-head with delusions of Manga-inspired success. Jamie Hewlett polished his shoes and gave me a well-earned boot up the arse, telling me there was more out there than just Japanese art. And Albarn shoved a pair of Skullcandys on my head and blasted me with electrip-hopping-punk-pop music. This is where I really started to understand music, not just enjoy it.

I can see now I'm getting ahead of myself, but I've never written a music review before, let alone a Gorillaz one, and I guess it's been building up.

So forgive me for being biased, but Plastic Beach is by far their best album yet. Gorillaz was a teenage-house party, Demon Days was the College years. Plastic Beach is full blown University life; freedom and youthful abandon, but with a well-earned maturity and sense of direction.

It follows the narrative that the World has all gone to pot, absorbed in self-centeredness and commercialism. The proverbial faeces of this way of living has drifted off into the middle of the Ocean and combined to create the Plastic Beach, on which the album was recorded by cartoon band-dictator, Murdoc Niccals. God I've missed him and his funny ways.

For those of you who don't know, Gorillaz is "made up" (in more ways than one) of four animated members. Satanic bass-shredder, Murdoc; Japanese guitar prodigy and martial artist Noodle; vacant but lovable 2D, the singer; and man-mountain New York drum-factory, Russel Hobbs.

In the last album, Noodle "died" and the band separated. Long story short, Murdoc went to rescue Noodle to reform his band, found her to be no more, scraped up her DNA and had her made into an Android version of her former self. He then kidnapped 2D and took him to his Plastic Beach studio. He sent out an invite to Russel who, having swum through miles of sea and eaten everything in his path, is now more man-planet than mountain, having mutated to enormous size. It's all very straight-forward.

So onto the music. This album, I would say, calls for thee to be open-minded and totally relaxed. If not, it will relax you anyway, but you really need to just chill out with this one. It works wonders. I'd say if you love Bjork, Enya, Kate Bush, any of those, then you're on the right track. Mix in a bit of the Sugar Hill gang and Stevie Wonder and you're pretty much ready for Plastic Beach.

The Orchestral Introduction sets the tone of the album. It sees you drifting through misty ocean airwaves, heading for something unknown, but ultimately warm and beautiful. And there you see it, in the distance. The pink floating paradise, like used bubblegum stretched over Tracey Island, but more exciting.

And as you land, Snoop Dogg welcomes you with trumpets blaring, and his dark-chocolate voice (no black-guy jokes intended) soothes you and invites you in, "Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach". I personally have never ran out and bought anything with his name on it, but this track is a snappy opener.

Then White Flag kicks in with an opening that screams of Albarn and Hewlett's previous project Monkey: Journey to the West, an Opera. Panpipe playing satyrs spring to mind in a Fantasia-esque intro that is quickly brought into the new-noughties by a cracking hip-hop track with an Arabian overlay.

By far my favourite track on the album, Rhinestone Eyes appears out of nowhere like Atari's Pong game did back in the '70's, blip-blopping until Albarn's sleepy voice sings the engmatic lyrics "I'm a scary gargoyle on a tower/that you made with plastic power/your rhinestone eyes are like/factories far away". This track left me feeling a bizarre mixture of twisted-tin romance, the urge to play on a SNES and wanting to campaign about environmental issues. Can't put it any better.

It's here where I'll point out the fact that the word "Plastic" features in almost every song as the theme for the album.

Stylo is up next. One of the most electronic songs on the album. Just check out the video, that's all I'm gonna say.

Suddenly, you hear a breakfast cereal jingle and are taken back to the 1960's: "This morning, you've got time for a hot, home-cooked breakfast. Delicious and piping-hot in only three microwave minutes!" Yes it's a song. De La Soul barge their way into this one in a welcome return, last heard on Feel Good Inc. Rapping about a breakfast cereal called Superfast Jellyfish, it's more like breakfast sureal. But this one is surely the catchiest, bounciest track on the album. "All hail King Neptune and his water-feeders" this wouldn't be out of place on a episode of Spongebob Squarepants!

Empire Ants takes place on clouds floating above the Plastic Beach, as Little Dragon seduces you with her sweet, other-worldy voice. You fall asleep on the ether, woken suddenly by what sounds like Paul McCartney asking "Where's North from 'ere?"

Glitter Freeze is a banging nineties tune, complete with a virtual drum kit, swirling electric beats and echoing laughter on empty motorway landscapes. This is a kick-ass driving tune. Plastic Beach's M1A1 track (see Gorillaz).

Lou Reed jumps in to chat with us in Some Kind of Nature with a voice so cool it could freeze fire. This song is funky-fresh, almost Bowie-era stuff. The chorus is a carousel of swerving soft vocals from Damon and Mr Cool (that's what I'm officially calling Lou Reed now).

On Melancholy Hill is the album's ballad of sorts, reminiscent of El Manana from the last album (see Demon Days) without the unhappy ending. On Melancholy Hill, despite it's name, is optimistic, dreamy, wistful. Even cute. The next track, Broken, doesn't steer far from the same theme. With crackling beats and an organ buzzing in the background, Damon creates a sombre lyrical piece that lacks the typical emo-isms of a song with such a title.

Sweepstakes, unfortunatley, is my least favourite track. Not exactly a bad track, and certainly catchy, but the rappers sound so bored and unenthusiastic. Perhaps that's just how they work. Music-wise, the satellite beeps and bongos make for an interesting record that eventually improves as the music drowns out the rappers.

In the album's signature track, Plastic Beach, Mick Jones and Paul Simonon, of The Clash fame, are reunited to collaberate with Damon on this guitar-stained, swimmingly smooth song. Slow and sensual like a tide, with a thumbing bass-line during the chorus, this is a cracking number.

Another of my close favourites is To Binge. Almost as if you've just arrived on Hawaii, it sails in peacefully against a sunset background. This is an ice-cream-melting-on-the-beach song and super to chill out to. Little Dragon, that tiny minx, is back to seranade you with her lovely vocals, joined in a duet by Damon. It's beautiful and inspires visions of long summers by the seaside. Love it.

Bobby Womack, from Stylo, returns on Cloud of Unknowing with his killer soul voice, helping you sink into this one, and later followed by a symphony of strings that make this the second most orchestral track after the intro. It ends on an echo that reverberates into a digital voice singing "Pirate Jet", as the clanging of a ship coming into port opens the song. Pirate Jet has a massive, catchy beat to it that you can't help but tap along to. Damon raps on the last track of the album in the spirit of Clint Eastwood and Blur's On Your Own. It's a great way to end a number one album.

But I can't end there without mentioning the artwork. Jamie's style has improved a lot since the debut album. He still works in photoshop, but has played about with watercolours and model-making; for the album "teaser trailers" a huge model of the Plastic Beach was built. It can be seen on the album cover. Hewlett's gritty, smoking work is dotted with humour, drama, and is often just plain sexy. My favourite piece so far being this one of Android Noodle:


I mean how awesomely sick is that? Very juicy.

So I look forward to the next project from these two nutters, which there have been hints at. But so long as Damon Albarn continues making music, and Jamie Hewlett carries on churning out shit-hot artwork, I can live happily ever after.

Inspirational Quote of the Week

I am going to make this a regular feature now, to inspire myself, and also make myself knowledgeable on people who spout great lyrics, phrases and anecdotes. Don't be surprised if you see a quote from my Dad on here at some point. His favourite being "Life is hard, get used to it".

This week's quote comes courtesy of Mark Twain, who authored the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer:

"In 20 years from now, you'll be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Explore. Dream. Discover."

I found it in Sunday's You magazine in an article written by journalist Sandra Paterson, who says it's one of her favourite quotes to reflect upon. Paterson moved from her busy urban life to the Island of Rarotonga in the middle of the Pacific Ocean to escape the onslaught of a midlife crisis. What she discovered there was peace, inspiration, health, friendly neighbours and paradise. Her story really inspired me.

For some time now I've seen myself as suffering from depression and lack of motivation due to my boring, grey, rain-soaked surroundings. I am, at heart, a Nature Child, and on the off sunny day that my boyfriend Dan and I rediscover the Welsh countryside I feel my problems settle and for a few hours I am relaxed by the watercolour-like scenery. But it is scarce in this country I'm afraid.

I take after my Dad in my aspirations to see the World and, with some luck, move away from Britain. The list of places I want to explore is endless: Austria, Rome, Greece, Paris, Japan (the majority of it), Hawaii, North America, Canada, Finland, Australia and New Zealand, South of France and any secret paradise's hidden in the Pacific. There's a whole world out there that I'm missing out on. It is my goal to see as much of it as I can before I drop off the planet.

So I hope this quote inspires somebody else as much as it has done for me.

I have one honourable mention this week - the ever hilarious Murdoc Niccals of Gorillaz:

"I'm ready to launch my new moronic TV talent show, Britain's Got Talons, any day now. It's a pointless search to find Britain's strongest bird. Each week we'll be pitting kestrels against ravens, eagles against magpies, and watching them fight it out to the death on live television! "

If that doesn't inspire a laugh then I don't know what will.

Grand Entrance

This is the unofficial opening of my Tattoo blog, the aptly named "Pins and Needles". Here I will be posting my musings about the body-mod world, some of my own designs, and I will also be taking on commissions by request, in order to polish my portfolio in my long-term attempt to gain an apprenticeship at a real Tattoo and Piercing studio.

I will also be collaborating with friends and networking in order to get myself out and about in the world more, starting with this years Liverpool Tattoo Convention on the 19th and 20th of June. I'm really looking forward to it and it should be a great eye-opener.

My interest in tattoos and piercings goes back as far as I can remember. I had my ears pierced when I was seven, and I thought I was the bees knees. I would bug my Dad and Granddad about their many tattoos, and my Dad would tell me I was never having one.

Then in high school I got into Rock music and Goth culture. I found that getting pierced was a safer alternative to self-harm (cliche, I know) and it also looked friggin cool. I also started designing my own tats when I was fourteen. I currently have eleven piercings including my lip, nipple, tragus and anti-tragus. I have many more planned for this year.

Then I hit eighteen and it was time to get a tattoo... but being an artist myself I became very fussy about what I wanted where, and who I wanted to do it. Money was also an issue. Now I'm a bit older, and I have two designs ready for the gun, and another in the making.

I guess it's not a surprise, but it was definitely Kat Von D and LA Ink that got me back into Tattoos. About a year ago I was at my boyfriend's house, sitting with his mum and watching Discovery Real Time. I thought the show was great, really gave you an insight into this fascinating world of body-mod. I love the passion that each of the artists have for their work and the way they heal people with their fantastic tattoos, and I remember when I used to feel that way, but I lost it. Now I have something to work hard for again.

I've been researching and reading up about tattoos and piercings, the processes, artists, downfalls, pros and cons for a good solid few months now. I penned three essays about the subject in University, one that got a B+, and a documentary that recieved the highest mark, an A+.

But of course, research doesn't stop at watching LA and Miami Ink, and reading Skindeep and High Voltage. There are plenty of websites and tattoo blogs out there that give great insight into this weird world, but the best "education" I had was watching Sean of Independent Tattoos doing my boyfriend's mum's tattoo. That was the moment I thought "I could do this". And I'm not the kind of person who has a lot of faith in myself, so this surprised me.

I know more than anyone that I have a lot of work and improving to do. Unlike most tattooists, I haven't been doing it since my teens. I have been drawing, but mostly cartoons, and I need to improve my life-drawing, animal and colour skills. I also need to build up a shit-hot portfolio.

So this is the blog I will be keeping in order to help me do that. Here are some of the great sources I've come across so far:

+Tattoosday UK - Fantastic blog/website that gives details of UK tattoo events, advice on getting tats and general news and links from around the world. Really cool stuff.
+London Tattoo Convention (24th-26th Sept) - Another convention that sounds bigger and nastier. I would love to go to this, but Liverpool is closer and cheaper. However, keeping it in mind. Check it out.
+Aces High Tattoo Studio - Unfortunately it looks like their official website is down, but I've been oggling the work at this place for some time. The artists are amazing, and I've seen some of their work on my mates. So I'm hoping they will be able to do my first tattoo for me.
+How to become a Successful Tattoo Artist - Not the best place on the web to go look for advice, but the tips they give are pretty handy. This is the first website I came across when I was pondering the idea of being a tattooist.
+The Tattoo Sourcebook - I got this for my birthday last year. Great value for money, it's a fantastic collection of tattoo designs for practicing artists, or just someone who wants a design. It also includes a brief history of tattoos and teaches you how to combine some of your favourite designs into something original for yourself.
+Tattoo Jam - Yet another huge convention in Doncaster. Sounds sweet, might give it a whirl this year, if I can afford it!

There are many other sources I've come across, so keep an eye on my links and reading list sections. And please, wish me luck!

A Matter of Art and Arachnophobia

Before I begin, please don't read this or click on the links if you are afraid of our eight-legged-friends. You could get a fright. However, if you are strong and pure of heart, please read on.

I love spiders. I think I always have. At my house, I'm the official Spider-Removal-and-Rescue Agent, because nobody else will touch one of those little buggers, and I don't approve of squishing them.

More to the point I have a fluffy Tarantula living in my room called Mandy. She is my baby. Also, I love Spider ornaments, jewellery, art, etc.


So the point is, I love Spiders. They're gorgeously intricate creatures and tiny artists. A bit like myself!

Hence why for my Bookjacket brief, in which we had to choose a subject to do a book cover for, I chose The World of Spiders.


Some interesting research I have come across!:

Spiders, as leggy and complicated as they look, are really only made up of three different pieces. The eight legs, obviously. The the Cephalothorax (seh-falo-thor-axe), which is the head and "chest". Then the Abdomen, which, like our own, contains all the guts and reproductive organs. Nice!

Spiders also have terrific vision and their eight big shiny eyes are just beautiful. Check them out, if you dare!


There are many different types of spider webs. The Orb Web being the one people associate with most. There is also the Lace-Sheet web, very pretty. The Triangle web is simple but effectively deadly. Then there's the Hammock web and the Scaffold web, both very similar.

Spiders are very popular in ancient culture as well as modern ("Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a Spider can!"). In Greek Mythology there is a tale that tells of the Goddess Athena in a battle to prove heself as the greatest weaver against a girl called Arachne. The latter produces an elaborate tapestry which Athena destroys in a jealous rage. Poor little Arachne then hangs herself in her sorrow. Athena, feeling guilty, brings her back to life as a Spider, giving her all of Arachne's great weaving talent.


The Spider, in some cultures, represents patience and cunning, for the way it waits for it's prey and slowly kills them. It's venom is seen as being cursed. Read more here.

This giant Spider was discovered in Liverpool. Check her out, she's amazing! Wish I had one. Could be a new form of travel.

This 1965 documentary by Dr. Peter Witt records the results of Spiders on different drugs. Very interesting. (Actually, the documentary is a hilarious spoof. However it is true that web-building Spiders can be affected by caffiene and create the most bizzare looking webs. Seriously, google it!)

But in all seriousness I'm hoping to make my book cover very unique. I've been researching tattooed depictions of Spiders and their webs in order to come up with something original and something that could in fact help me on my way to designing tattoos for a living. Spiders have appeared in tattoos for many, many centuries and with growing Goth and Emo culture will probably develop a lot more. I mean let's face it; I want my own Spider Tattoo.

Listening to Plastic Beach and wanting to hang from the nearest curtain rail

I know writing a blog is the last thing I should be doing at the moment, but I feel like this controlled/productive procrastination will serve to help me organize my thoughts at the moment.

Ok, so I'm pretty much certain now that stress is something I suffer from quite regularly. I mean there's your general screaming-at-the-kids, throwing-stuff kind of stress. And then there's severe stress that affects your well-being. I have the latter. When I'm stressed I come out in a nasty rash, develop acne (gross I know), I panic more; for example my driving is always worse when I'm stressed, because my mind wanders. I also lose a lot of sleep and my appetite turns very bizarre. But most noticeable is the hot flushes I get. I've been getting them regularly for years but they seem to be getting worse.


Luckily (or unluckily depending how you look at it) I am going for a blood test this week to determine if there's anything I can take to "chill me out" a bit. Forgive me but I think the best cure is probably pot.

Anyway the source of my stress as usual is myself. I am the worst kind of procrastinator: the one who knows it but can't do anything about it. Believe me, I've printed off enough help sheets and read enough books :/

At the moment my turmoil lies in the idea that for the first time ever I WANT to do my uni work, but I can't because I also WANT to finish my commission first. Why can't I finish my commission? Well apart from that feeling of nausea I get when I even look at one of my drawings, I guess another reason may be that I'm scared of the final result. I'm never happy with my artwork and I wish from the start that I'd done it all on paper and not in Photoshop. I now hate Photoshop and sincerely hope I never have to work with it again :( I wanna go back to traditional. Soooooo bad.

My other devil-on-the-shoulder is Tattoos (incidentally that has just given me an idea for a tattoo. But oh wait, I can't do anything about it because I HAVE OTHER WORK TO DO FIRST!) I can't stop thinking about tattoos; how much I want to draw them, read about them, design them for me and other people, get one (or two or three) done now...

Dan (the ever supporting boyfriend) suggests that I should use my lust for tattoos as the driving force to get me to finish my commission and catch up on my uni work. But it's so much harder than that. Procrastination isn't laziness. Trust me, I go hiking every Saturday. Procrastination, I'm starting to think, is pretty much a serious mental illness. I mean I've been doing it for years without realizing. I only bloody learnt what the word mean last October. I can put jobs off for years on end. It's lost me a load of art and writing opportunities. It even lost me one of my friends. It's ruining my life!

Even if I tell myself to look ahead, see how worse off I'll be when I haven't done my work, it doesn't shift my left arm to start drawing. Ever. I can only draw when I enjoy it. And I'm really not enjoying it.

God I want to draw tattoos so much! I want to do my uni work: my bookjacket, my canvas poster, my ideas for the bloody cycling competition thing, and that Bee-Battery thing... I'm so behind I feel like giving up altogether!

So there's my blog update for these last two weeks. To my tutors: I haven't done any work. But I guess I'm developing my writing/critical skills (insert dry hollow laugh).

References:

Stop Procrastinating, Don't be a Perfectionist
Beating Procrastination
How to stop Procrastinating: 7 Timeless Tips